Christmas came early to Briarcliff and for some reason it felt a lot more like Halloween, with all the tricks and treats we were given.
Psycho Santa Ian McShane has taken a family hostage, taunts them for a bit, threatens to murder them...then does. And that, ladies and gentlemen is yet another way to end up at Briarcliff.
Sister Satan decorates the tree, Briarcliff-style, complete with locks of hair, empty alcohol bottles and blown up gloves.
Sister Jude makes her return to to the asylum to confront SS about her devilish ways. The two sling snarky lines until they are interrupted by Dr. Arden. The unholy duo have Jude sent away and discuss Frank the guard's need to confess his role in Grace's death, along with everything else, which clearly spells trouble for the two.
With ever the plan in motion, Sister Satan makes her way to Psycho Santa's cell to tempt him with revenge. Turns out this monster had a sad origin. He went crazy after he was jailed for petty theft and gang raped in prison. He takes the bait. He chooses to become the victor in the suit once again.
Flashback to 1963 Briarcliff: The asylum "family" is preparing to take a Christmas card picture and Psycho Santa wants out of his chains. Sister Jude promptly lets him know that when you murder 18 people in 5 families all in one night...chains are what you get...forever. Psycho Santa isn't happy about this and voices his displeasure by biting an orderly's ear off. And that was how Christmas at Briarcliff died.
Thank goodness we have Sister Satan here to revive it this year! As she smokes and relaxes to Rockin' Around The Christmas Tree, Dr. Arden interrupts to bring her a Christmas present: Ruby earrings. Not just ANY rubies, but the rubies of a "jewess" (as he so eloquently hissed) from one of his old concentration camps. She was rich and basically lived to pissed Arden and everyone else in the camps that had to deal with her off. She was complaining of stomach pains,so one day he followed her to the restroom (because THAT'S normal) and found her picking through her own poo trying to retrieve the very earrings in Sister Satans ears. She ate pieces of them everyday and ended up dying of internal bleeding, so of course Arden retrieved them. As he (strangely) laments over her accepting the dirty gift, she asks him if he's with her or against her.
Lana throws up in her bed and blames it on being upset (oh, dear...). She sees someone else in her room and goes to investigate. No, it's not Thredson like I thought...it's Kit!
Jude speaks to Mother Superior about all that's been going on at Briarcliff and we are treated to another patented Emmy snatching Jessica Lange monologue...I swear if we keep getting one of these every week, I won't even be mad. Once she finishes, she is told she has a visitor. Dr. Arden has come to the church to tell Jude she was right about Sister Satan and that he wants to work with her to stop whatever is going on.
Monsignor Howard brings a star to top the deranged tree and commends Sister Satan on her changes to Briarcliff, including letting Psycho Santa sit in on the party in his power suit.
Kit enters his home in what is clearly a fantasy, where Alma walks in pregnant as they prepare their homr for for Christmas. He bends down to kiss her stomach and suddenly, Alma is Grace. Lana stands over a drugged up Kit, trying to wake him and escape but he isn't much help,so she goes to get some of her own, promising to come back for him.
Arden meets Jude and they move forward with their plan. He is to lock Jude in her office with Sister Satan and keep everyone out.
As Frank prepares to hang the star all hell breaks loose. Psycho Santa attacks Franks and tries to make a run for it, although he's quickly subdued and hauled away to solitary.
Lana finds a phone and begins to dial as Thredson interrupts her to say she was just kidding...
Sister Satan meets Frank at Psycho Santa's cell..to slit his throat and set Santa free, cuz she's a demon and it's fun!
Jude waits for SS in her office only to find she's been locked away with the Santa she threw into darkness a year ago. Oh boy. Arden has proven exactly where his loyalties lie...Team Sister Satan all the way You had ONE JOB Dr. Arden...ONE JOB!
Thredson has Lana cornered and tells her that he has already cleaned up his mess and "killed" Bloody Face. As he prepares to kill her (and wear her skin as the new Bloody Face's) and just as he prepares to haul her out of there, Kit saves the day, knocking him out.
Back in Sister Jude's office, Psycho Santais prepared to have some fun with her. He's found her stash o' canes and wastes no time using one on her the way she did on him. As he prepares to kill her, she stabs him first with a knife she hid earlier, killing him.
Kit convinces Lana to not kill Thredson so that he can clear his name. They hide him in a clost and Lana finally gets some revenge with one line: "One day I'll bury you." I can only hope Ryan Murphy makes it so.
WTFs
- There are theories going around that present day Bloody Face is Lana and Thredson's son. We have confirmation from Ryan Murphy that he is indeed Dylan McDermott and with Lana throwing up this week...this could be shaping up. Uh Oh.
- Where the hell did Grace's body go? What's the connection to pregnant Alma and what do the aliens want with Kit's ladies?
- I was really hoping Arden was going to work with Jude, but now I just want him to die.
- What's to become of Sister Jude, now that literally no one is on her side? Was it just me or was the Mother Superior looking at her like she was crazy too?
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